misgendering

no matter how many times i tell people who i am, they just forget somehow. it's starting to get irritating and pretty annoying, i know people can forget about such things but.. if it's repetitive then it gets really irritating as hell man. some certain people talk about me right? and those people know what i identify, but they don't say what i identify behind my back. they just address me by my deadname, and biological gender. i feel like that's a pretty horrible thing to do behind someone's back even if that certain person knows they are trans. it's quite annoying. plus some people do it to me on purpose, just to be selfish, and that's really transphobic as hell. call me a snowflake or sensitive but i want people to address me that i want to be addressed as. i hate living in this body every single day, it's like a curse. but people usually treat it as a privilege to me just because of how my body is shaped. they just say "people would kill to have your body" or "your looks" whenever i say i feel off about my body. it does not make me feel any better, it just makes me feel more feminine and it makes me sick inside. i just want to look like some regular guy, not some confused girl. i hate it so much.

- sunny